The Curse Within Me
by LadyDream.x
Summary: Bella can no longer cope with Edwards absence from her life and so she finds a way to deal with her loss, until a familiar friend reappears and tells her something that could turn her world upside down. AU to New Moon
1. Memory

**Disclaimer: i do not own twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. (sigh)**

**Chapter one: memory.**

I couldn't take it anymore. The scene from my 18th birthday played over and over in my head. It was constant and inescapable. It was torture. I recited his words again. His heavenly voice filled my mind and ears, and made me oblivious to any other noise.

"It will be as if i never existed" . What a foolish thing to assume. As if my life could be so easily re-written when he left, did he really believe that i would just simply move on and make a new life for myself, one that he wasn't a part of? He had no idea.

Another flashback filled my vision. A brush of a finger under pale pink paper, then a pool of crimson appearing on the floor...

Then it hit me. I had spent the past month feeling nothing and it was suddenly too unbearable to continue trying to cope with. It was the key...why all of this is happening to me right now, why i have lost the one who meant more than the world to me, whose face i would never again see. It was my blood. It had been the one constant problem for Edward even before that dreadful night. I could not even begin to imagine the strength of the monster inside he fought every second he was with me. My blood had caused him great pain even before my birthday. It was a curse running through my veins, and i didn't want it there anymore.

I felt so stupid as i realised what i must do. Why didn't i see it sooner? It was such an obvious thing! This curse had ruined my life, and pushed away the only person i could ever love. Not anymore. I couldn't have it dominating my body any longer. I had to get it out. Now.

**What you guys think? Should i continue with this? I kinda know the general direction i wanna head with this story but i aint wastin ma tym if it aint gona be read, after all thats kinda the point init?!**

**Let me know what yall think guys! Thanks x**


	2. Determination

**Thanks for wanting me to continue this story guys, i love it when my imagination gets put to good use, and even better, when it's complimented!! Love you all and hope you enjoy :] x**

**Chapter Two: Determination.**

I quickly stumbled to my feet, almost in excitement as i could barely contain the hope i had begin to feel over the last few short moments. If i could get rid of this disease in my body, then he could come back to me, and never have to leave me again. There'd be nothing in our way anymore, and the monster he felt could finally disappear. Forever.

I ran down the staircase and into the kitchen with all the speed and energy i could gather together. It felt so exhilarating to be so alive after all this time. It was like an ecstasy buzzing through me and i was incapable of staying still for any amount of time. Still, my buzz came to a premature end as i stood in the kitchen looking around, and a wave of uncertainty, dread, and confusion made its presence clear in my head. Soon a question i was unable to answer stopped me in my tracks and killed the only positivity i had felt in so long.

How was i going to do this?

Logic or intelligence wasn't on my side at this point. Sure, i was a straight A student, i always did my homework, even more importantly, i always got it correct, but this was an enigma i saw no way in solving. Fury sparked inside me as i realised that the one thing i needed to do to make my life worth living, to have a meaning and purpose again, i was unable to do. Everything else i had a correct answer to, except the one i truly needed. Ah, the irony.

Two words echoed through my head and i didn't understand at first why they were the two out of all the others to make a lasting mark on my memory. Then i realised what i was trying to tell myself. I just didn't want to hear it.

" Worth living" it echoed over and over and over until i could no longer deny that it had made an impact on the way i saw things, a lasting impression on my thoughts, which were now so much clearer than they had ever been within the last few moments.

My life wasn't worth living. I was deluding myself by thinking that Edward would come home to me if i could remove this curse. He didn't want me. He had so many chances to change me, to keep me forever, but maybe that's what the true problem was between us. He didn't want forever. The debate of my soul was only an escape route for him, it wasn't a theory that could be proven before the change, so it was his alibi for avoiding the subject. Sadness and despair filled my heart to breaking point, and then smashed it in a whole different way than ever before.

It hurt to have this confirmed, especially in my heart, where i had kept Edward's memory lingering for so long now. I knew his marble features better than my own. I still had the unique colour of his eyes tattooed onto my memory, and i found quite often that if i allowed myself to stop for a moment, to slow my pace and calm my mind, they would be the only thing i was able to see.

So, the new question became whether or not i could live with this loss for the rest of my life? The answer was simple. No, no i couldn't. I knew the answer before the question was read in my mind, and determination flooded through me as i now know what i must do. It wasn't my blood that was the curse, it was me. All of me. An easy problem to solve.

**Watcha think?? I know its moving a little slowly, but i'm making it up as i go along! I know what's going to happen and i know generally what the endings going to be, i just don't know how i'm getting to that point!! If you guys have any ideas about what you want to happen then let me know, ill try squeeze it in somewhere! **

**(oh, and the point of this chapter is to show that Bella is so far gone into a state of depression that she is becoming delirious and contradicting and debating everything she and Edward ever felt together. you get it?)**

**Phew, i talk too much!! [:**


	3. Release

**Chapter three: Release.**

I thought about the promise id made him, not to be reckless or stupid. I know that even if he were here he could not read my mind, and i thought about how mad he would be even if he could. Although, this was sort of a stupid scenario to be thinking about; if he were here none of this would be running circles around my brain.

In a way, i'm glad that this harsh realisation hit me. It reminded me of what i need to do, and gave me the idea of how i was going to do it. I was going to be reckless, and incredibly stupid, for the very last time, for Edward.

I looked around the kitchen, hoping to see something that could aid me in my task, but all i saw was a butter knife and a spoon. Very helpful. It took me almost 5 seconds to realise i was actually in a kitchen, the one place in the whole house where sharp instruments were kept. Knife drawer, Bella! Duh!

I impatiently yanked the knife draw open, and immediately set my sights upon the new, long, shiny knife Charlie had just bought a few days ago for his fishing trips. It hadn't even been used yet. Perfect. I grabbed the knife and hastily removed its packaging, and finally held it tightly in my hand.

I began to turn it around and around, staring into the blade and catching my own reflection every now and then. A small tear slid down my cheek as i began to question my own sanity. What am i doing? How did it come to this? I was actually stood in the middle of my kitchen holding a sharp knife inches away from my face with the intention of ending my own life. What the hell has he done to me?

I dropped the knife and it hit the floor with an un-naturally loud clatter. I slid down the wall and tears became too over bearing for me and began to flow freely from my tired eyes. Words screamed over and over in my head pushing me to the edge of my sanity. 'he doesn't want you', ' he doesn't love you', 'he left you', 'mere human'... i couldn't take it anymore. I rolled up my sleeve, took a deep breath, grabbed the knife from across the kitchen floor, and without pausing made one swift slice across each wrist. Ahhh!

I exhaled deeply, and became stunned at how much release of anger and hurt i had actually felt with each stroke of the knife. It felt...good. the knife had slipped through my flesh easier than it would with butter. I tilted my head back against the wall and sat there for a few minutes just soaking in the relief that washed through me. Each wrist burned and stung but it was worth it just to feel the freedom i felt right now. I had no more burdens, no more heartache and no more depression. I had found the cure to my problems. My way back into sanity.

..

I would have to clean the floor tiles before Charlie got home.

**What you think? Sorry i haven't updated in a while, been kinda busy... promise im back for good tho guys! If u want me to continue this story let me know!**

**Just one final point: im making my chapters short cos i duno bout u, but when i read fanfics i get kinda bored if ther toooo long!! Let me know if u want longer chapters or anything...**

**I live to serve my readers! xxx**


	4. Living With Death

**Its been ages, i know and im sorry...ill be much quicker with updating next time i promise, thanks for your patience though ox**

**Okay lets get on with it shall we? Enjoy! **

**Chapter Four: living with Death.**

I don't know how long i sat on the floor just soaking in the addictive feeling of release. I had initially intended to end my life, but being as stupid as i am, i apparently didn't cut deep enough to do serious damage; just enough to let the blood escape. I just sat there focusing on the thoughts overloading my brain: Edward's last words to me and the sadness that paired with them, the relief of finding my new way to cope and the anger i felt knowing i had hit rock bottom...You know you're in the worst place possible when you need to resort to self harm just to make it through the hour.

When the dizziness calmed and the relief faded away, i steadily rose to my feet and bandaged both wrists before pulling down my sleeves and mopping the floor. I stared at the knife briefly for a second before picking it up from where i had let it fall, and wiped away the blood lingering on the blade with one swift stroke on a piece of kitchen roll. I wonder what excuse i could think up to tell Charlie to explain its disappearance from the drawer?

I quickly glanced up at the clock on the wall and realised he would be home soon, so i quickly made arrangements in my head as to what to do until he got home. This felt all too familiar to me and it seemed that it was all my life was about now; routine, repetition, loneliness. I pushed those negative thoughts to the back of my mind to the best of my ability, and then continued on with my ill-devised plan i made up moments ago. Shower, tidy, cook,study...cook, tidy, study, shower... tidy, study, shower, cook...either way it was still more than enough to keep my mind preoccupied until Charlie came home and i no longer had to be alone, physically anyway.

I decided that i would tidy up a little first, i couldn't cook just yet as the food would be cold before my dad got home, and the shower could wait until before i went to bed. I began in the living room and worked my way upstairs. I missed out the kitchen entirely, as i was already thorough enough in there earlier, and a part of me was afraid to be in that room again just incase i was tempted to repeat my earlier antics. Later, i thought.

I felt a sudden stinging in my wrists as i picked up a basket of washing to carry downstairs, and it reminded me of what i had done and a sudden wave of guilt threw me for a moment. His aim was to always protect me from harm, to always keep me safe and to always keep me healthy, he just didn't realise that the biggest danger to me was myself. He left to avoid any harm coming to me, and yet he's the reason im hurting. He's the reason for my addiction to pain, it reminds me he really existed and im doing this for a reason. A small smile wiped across my face before i recovered from my thoughts and continued downstairs with the dirty laundry. I jumped a little as i passed the front door and heard three quick knocks on the other side. I paused to stare at the door in surprise before dropping the laundry basket and slowly making my way to the door handle. I was puzzled. Charlie wouldn't be home for another half hour, and he wouldn't knock anyway as he has his own set of keys, and no-one never ever visited me anymore since my catatonic breakdown. Another three swift knocks on the door urged me to quickly respond to my visitor. As i placed my fingers on the handle and slowly turned it to open the door, i was still questioning who on earth it could be. Nothing could have prepared me for what i saw a moment later...

**OOOH!! Are you curious?!? I promise you wont have to wait long to find out whos at the door ;) im aiming to get the next chapter uploaded tomorrow after college if all goes well and i don't break a limb getting home in this god-forsaken weather! (.) reviews are always appreciated and who knows, you might even get a chapter dedicated to you if i REALLY like what i hear...and if im in a good mood. Ok ama go away now cos i talk far tooooo much!! **

**Love you all xxx **

**(cough reviews cough)**


	5. Denial

**Sorry guys, this took a little longer to write than i expected it would. Im a vey fussy writer and i like everything to be perfect, and thats why ive changed this chapter a gazillion times before uploading. Never mind though its here for yall now, as always thank you for your patience and amazing comments: they really inspire me to carry on quickly. Happy reading beautiful people, and as always, enjoy and review please!**

**I'll be quiet now.**

Chapter Five: denial.

The crazy thing about life is that nothings ever written in stone. It's so very unpredictable and rarely goes the exact way you imagined it to be. You can either wait your whole life for something that's never going to happen, or be going along with it, making the best of things and then BOOM...it hits you like a train. This is one of those boom moments, and one i kind of wish i could run away from at any cost. It's so insane for me to feel like this right now: the one thing i've wanted to happen for so many months, the scenario i've constantly dreamed of happening every night is the one situation i actually wish i could avoid at all costs.

As i opened the door, the first thing i saw was those beautiful familiar topaz eyes i so proudly called home, but as i analysed the facial expression, my immediate thought was 'why me?' and that's the last thing i remember before opening my eyes and finding myself on my sofa with a familiar coldness surrounding my hand, and my father's voice a little louder than what i'm used to hearing. He very rarely shouted at me or even in my presence, only when he was very, very mad. It didn't take me long to figure out the reason behind his sudden vicious temper.

I thought back to what had previously happened, and how i could have ended up on my couch...i remember seeing the familiar eyes and face stood at my door, and wishing this wasn't happening to me right now. It seemed to be too much for me to handle, and i apparently blacked out: i've become quite good lately at repelling horrible things that i really don't want happening, or things that i blatantly believe to be reality. I'm just lucky it wasn't a heart attack, which would of been a much more suitable thing to have happened, i mean, talk about a shock!!

I just laid on my sofa with my eyes closed for what seemed like forever. I pondered everything that had happened earlier today, and the stuff i could hear happening around me right now. I concluded that i must have been unconscious for a considerable amount of time, as last i remember, Charlie wasn't due home for at least half an hour, yet i could hear his constant yelling coming from the other side of the room, echoing in my ears. There was something distasteful about his tone, and hurtful even for me to witness, yet it was in no way directed at me. I felt the cold hand release mine, and this forced me into finally 'waking up' and facing reality.

I let my eyes slowly flicker open, and just hoped that my acting skills had improved of late. The first thing i saw was charlie's face, red with temper and wearing an outraged expression, but with no hint of suspicion at my antics traceable anywhere. He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by a sudden glance in a direction not so far from mine. I turned my head, slightly afraid of what i would see, yet slightly excited to have my hazy memories confirmed as truth. I took me half a second of scanning the area before my eyes settled on a stunning marvellous sight of a person i truly believed i would never again see. A warm smile confirmed to me that my memory had been correct, but in no way had it done the sight before me true justice.

**HeHeHe you just know i had to keep you in suspence for a little pointless chapter ;) i know im mean you soooo don't have to tell me! But i know your all very eager to know 'whos at the door, bella?' so i promise ill be updating very very soon and the next chapter will definitely reveal our mistery guest! Loveeee youuu all and if you love me, you'll review ;) (see what i did there? Genius!)**


	6. Cullen Chaos

**Its been forever since i updated this story...sorry :/**

**Ive been really struggling with this chapter, as i really wanted it to be the key to bringing the story together, however it hasn't quite worked out that way for me... So im just guna go with the flow instead of following my original plan! Im not a 'plan' type of person so i guess thats why i haven't been able to REALLY get into this story, but do not fear! Lets see how it goes yea? Thanks for your patience guys, i just hope ive made this chapter worth the wait ;) **

**High five! **

Chapter 6: Cullen Chaos.

I love the Cullens. I really love the cullens, but at times, such as these, i don't feel any obligation to like them. Emmett Cullen is standing against my kitchen counter, and he is staring at me with an expression i am far too familiar with, even after so much time passed. I must have been staring at Emmetts face for quite a long time, as he broke his eye contact with me and began to shuffle uncomfortably whilst staring at the floor, trying to make it look as human as possible; even Charlie had felt the atmosphere and made a quick departure to 'let us talk'. It didn't really make sense to me after everything i heard him screaming, but im in love with a vampire... does anything make sense anymore?

Emmett cautiously moved towards me, looking at me as if i was about to attack him. He delicately shuffled my feet over so he could sit at the end of my couch, still staring at me with that cautious expression. It already began to bug me that i knew there was something he wasn't telling me.

''why are you here, Emmett?'' his eyes flickered in my direction, and then back to the floor.

'' ok Bella, here's the thing. Alice has seen what you did today.'' He saw my mouth about to open in protest, but he quickly continued without giving me the chance to speak.

'' Don't even try deny it, Swan. I can smell the dried blood coming from your arms. Hell, Edward smelled it almost three blocks away from here! What are you doing Bella? Seriously 'lil sis, you got Edward freaking out , Alice freaking out, me freaking out! Carlisle's even considering getting a shrink on the job, and it dosen't get any worse than that Bella. You know that's always Carlisle's last resort to take. You gotta stop doing this, sis. Edward's really...''

That was as much as i was able to take.

''STOP CALLING ME YOUR SISTER! I AM NOT YOUR SISTER! I WONT EVER BE YOUR SISTER! AND DON'T MENTION HIS NAME, I DON'T EVER WANA HEAR OR SEE HIM AGAIN! HOW DARE YOU?! You all left me without a second thought and now you just think you have any right to walk into my house and tell me what to do? No way Emmet, just get out. Get out of my house, get out of this town, and if your families here, then take them with you! I don't wana see any of you, especially not him! You have no idea what you've done to me, what HE'S made me. Just go''

I had finally calmed down, and was able to look at Emmett again. His face was in shock, with a hint of pain, mixed with guilt. Worst of all, if he was able to cry, his expression definitely confirmed he would. He took an unnecessary deep breath, clasped his hands together, and opened his mouth to reply to my insane outburst.

'Bella, i get you got alot of anger stored up, and i'm glad it was me who got here first. Dude, that was scary! But you need to know why we're here. This is serious Bella. I'm sorry for what we put you through, but we all really need you to put your feelings aside for a while. That's why i'm here, why we're all here Bella. Edward's dying. ''

I just couldn't take in the words that he was saying. I could hear his voice, see his mouth move, but it still doesn't make any sense. Vampires can't die, especially not Edward. I blinked back the tears trying to escape, and managed to barely whisper one word.

''why?''

Emmett began to look more frustrated and on edge by the second. '' Bella i promise to explain everything on the way, but we really need to get moving, now. He hasn't got long left and you're the only one that can help. I promise ill explain but please, let's just go!'' he began to gently tug at my arm, but i refuse to move.

''no.''

He stared at me, almost an amused expression on his face, but mostly one of shock and confusion.

''what do you mean no? No what? Bella this is no time for jokes, lets go!''

''no, Emmett. I'm not going anywhere with you, especially not for his benefit. He left me here, alone, to die without him, and he knew i would. Why shouldn't i return the mutual feeling?''

''Bella....''

'' Emmett, i'm being serious. You're not going to change my mind. Go back to Edward and tell him to get on with it, because i really don't care anymore. Just leave, and don't come back. What i do from now on is my business, not yours and definitely not Edward's. Like i said, i never wana see or hear from him again, i'm just glad that won't be a problem for me anymore. Close the door on your way out.''

He looked at me as if i was insane, but he never opened his mouth to speak another word. He stood stood from where he sat, still his eyes rested upon mine. His expression changed to fury by the second, but still he never spoke. He just placed a piece of paper on the end table, and i turned my face away and looked at the floor, until i heard the front door close.

I sat in the same position for several minutes, but when i was certain the coast was clear, i moved up from the couch and over to the table where the piece of paper rested. It was a phone number and a message saying 'if you change your mind.'

My shaking hand held the paper for just a few seconds before i walked over to the trash can, and let it gracefully fall to the bottom.

Edward Cullen would never hurt me again. I grabbed the knife resting on the kitchen table, and ran upstairs to the bathroom. Hopefully i would never come out.

**Well, what do you think? Was it worth the wait? Im not sure whether or not i want to continue with this story... what do you guys think? As always, your feedback is welcomed with open arms, hugs and kisses ;) xox any suggestions as to what you would like to happen next? Should she get the paper out the bin, or walk away from Edward Cullen forever? **


	7. Reality's The Nightmare

**Sorry for disappearing for such a long time...again. I was trying to think of some really clever excuse to tell you all as to why i haven't updated, but i couldn't think of anything... so basically, i do have a life outside of fanfic, i am **_**not **_**a saddo with no friends and no life who sits at a computer screen all day plotting little ways to make Edward and Bella fall in love. ;) just thort id share that wiv yaz! **

Chapter 7: REALITY'S THE NIGHTMARE.

I bolted the bathroom door tightly shut. No-one was getting into me unless i wanted them to. Even if they managed to break the door down, i won't be here to witness it. This pathetic excuse for a life will be ended, this plain, clumsy, pale body will be an empty shell, and this river in my veins, full of curse and betrayal will finally cease it's poisonous rhythmic flow. I clutched the knife firmly in my right hand, and prepared to strike again with a vicious assault on my left wrist.

I have no idea what made me do it, but for the first time since i began satisfying my need for release, i stopped and thought about what i was doing. I couldn't remove Emmett's saddened face from my eyelids; it felt like the image was forever tattooed there. Every time i closed my eyes to let a tear fall, every time i blinked a tear away, it was there. His words echoing over and over in my ears. His hopeless pleading and begging. Then of course there was Charlie. I had put my beloved father through so much recently, and never once stopped to consider the depth of hurt and held in emotion he had to endure day after day whilst watching me pointlessly linger on through life. Could i really do this to him, out of a simple act of selfishness? No. No i couldn't do that to Charlie. Despite everything ive been through, everything im _still _going through, i couldn't push him that far. It's one thing to crave the welcome ending of my own life, but i would never intentionally end Charlie's life. I can at least stay strong for him. For now.

I sighed as another tear made its escape down my cheek, trailing down to my neck, and reopened the door i was so certain moments ago would be the last object i ever saw. I dropped the knife at the entrance of the bathroom, and dragged my feet across the hall to the stairs. I knew exactly where i was going to go from here: the kitchen. I knew exactly what i was going to retrieve from the trashcan under the sink: Emmett's last message. I tried so hard to stop myself acting out on ambition, but it was hopeless. I couldn't deny myself the curiosity of his face, the depth of his eyes, the marble tone of his lips. Damn you Edward Cullen.

In stumbled down the stairs, occasionally catching my foot on the way down, and into the kitchen. Just as i predicted, the white paper was lying at the top of the pile of trash in the bin, preserved exactly as i had left it: un-tainted, un-marked, un-creased and perfect. I laughed mentally at my analysis; how very fitting to the Cullen's, as each one being so very similar to this piece of paper i held in my shaking hand. I glared at the number in the palm of my hand and growled at my utter stupidity of my actions. I know this path can only possibly bring me towards more heartache, loss and pain, but i still could not withhold myself from picking up the phone and dialing. I must be so very masochistic to walk freely back into the arms of curse and betrayal. For him. Damn you Edward Cullen. I would hate you if i didn't love you so much. Damn you to hell...and back into my arms.

**Ok, so just incase ur a little lost, Bellas recovering from her loopy phase, but she has now convinced herself that its her that is bad for Edward, and by ringing Emmett for the 411 on the situation, she is sealing him into a life time of guilt regret. Get it? Oh never mind it'll aaaallllll make sense in the end... i hope ;) **


	8. Truth and Lies

**Considering i left it so long to update previously, i thought id make this chapter a little longer as way of an apology, and id get my update in a HELL of alot sooner! A special thank you to EdwardCullensMyDreamMan for adding my story to favourites, story alert, author alert and Author favourites. Wow! Someone's a fan! Hehe, thank you to everyone else who reviewed aswell, its nice to feel loved now and then :D xx**

Chapter 8: Truth and Lies.

i placed my finger onto the first number on my telephone, when there came a sharp, sudden knock on the door. I sighed mentally and placed the phone back onto the wall. Maybe this was fate, stopping me from making a really big mistake? No Bella, it's just bad timing. I hope.

I opened the door to once again find Emmett standing there, was a extremely large smile stretched across his perfect face, undisguising a line of glistening venom-coated white teeth. I was about to ask why he was back _again_, but he apparently read this in my facial expression, and proceeded first.

''Alice called. Can i come in, or are you going to throw me out again? Well, not that you could _physically_ throw me out of your house, but it'd be funny for me to watch you try!''

If it was at all possible, his smile seemed to stretch even further as he added the final word to his very Emmett-like speech. I must admit, the scene of me trying to man-handle him out of my front door would be quite hilarious to witness, but i managed to keep my smile as a mental grin only. This was no time for playing nice. I had questions, Emmett had answers, and for now, that's all that matters to me. I kept my expression very serious and business-like... another mask of lies to add to the list. Will i ever be able to stop lying to anyone? I sighed yet again, and cleared my throat.

''You can come in on the conditions that you promise to behave yourself _to the best of your ability_, you tell me everything i want to know, no secrets and no lies. Deal?''

He seemed to pause for a second, and consider his options. His smile dropped slightly before he replied with a simple ''deal'' before pushing past me and stretching out fully on my sofa. _To the best of your ability _i repeated in my head. This seemed about right, considering this was Emmett. I walked to the sofa and forced Emmett's size 10's out of the way, similarly as to how he shuffled mine earlier, although i was much more co-operative with him then, than he was being with me right now. Never the less, he let me win and sit on the end of the sofa. Eventually. After all, it was _to the best of his ability._

I sat for a few seconds, gathering and ordering my thoughts before starting what i presumed would be a very long conversation. I had a feeling i had alot of catching up to do.

'' so, let's start at the beginning. You sai...'' he cut me off before i had chance to finish my first sentence. He sat up on the sofa, no trace of that eager smile to be found anywhere in his face, just a blatant serious expression.

'' look Bella, here's how it goes. Alice called me and said she saw you calling the number i left for you, so i thought i'd come and save you the trouble. There's things you need to know, and i didn't quite tell you everything earlier. You need to listen very closely, i wont repeat anything twice, and i don't want you to say anything until i've finished talking. There isn't enough time for interruptions. Do you understand Bella?''

I had never seen Emmett as serious as this before. This was a part of Emmett that i never knew existed. Things must be very bad for this kind of attitude to surface. Emmett was always the joker, the comedian, the tough guy, but now he was nothing more than a scared boy. I saw it as i stared deeply into his warm topaz eyes as they met mine. He was extremely afraid of something.

''Ok. Tell me everything.''

He broke out of our deep eye contact, and seemed to be phrasing his words very carefully in his mind before he began to speak. He looked back at my face and i once again saw the fear.

''Bella, the first thing you need to understand is that everything Edward told you the day we left was a lie. He never wanted to hurt you so badly, but he didn't know any other way to try make you move on. He didn't think it'd get this bad.''

I analysed every word he spoke, and stored it in my memory. I would ponder over his words later, when i was alone and able to absorb their full meaning. For now, i was entirely focused on listening. He continued after a short pause.

''A few days ago, Alice had a vision of you sat on your kitchen floor with a knife in your hand. She saw blood dripping on the floor, and she saw your arm. Edward managed to read her thoughts before she could try block it from him, and ever since then he's been acting...strange. Well, he demanded that Carlisle order the best psychiatric doctor to come and admit you to therapy, but Carlisle said it wasn't necessary. Edward got really mad at him, but when Carlisle told him it was not his concern what you do anymore, that he left you of his own free will and he should let you go, well, he went crazy. Really crazy. He demolished the house, like literally tore it apart brick by brick. He lunged at Carlisle, but i managed to tackle him before he could do any damage to him, or anyone else. He eventually calmed down, but then he refused to eat, speak or barely move. Then about two days ago, Alice lost his future, and we all totally freaked out. Carlisle got out his books and got into research mode with Jasper, and after a few hours, they found a story, similar to yours and Edward's little love story. One vampire, one human, one ending.''

I was so deeply lost in what he was saying, that his sudden pause brought me back to reality. This shocked me. Edward had told me that our relationship was one of a kind, that a vampire had never mated with a human before. I think Emmett could see the questions about to leave my lips, so he quickly continued.

''Breathe Bella... Anyway, while reading a text that told the tales of the old ones, he found a story of a male vampire and his female human lover. They were thought to of lived in a time before our kind became more common, around 700BC, but Carlisle could not find an exact year. They were deeply in love and mostly inseparable, with the exception of sunlight hours. Even then, he kept a watchful eye over her in the shelter of the shadows. One day, she told him of her plan to travel north to seek fortunes for their future together, their future after he changed her into a vampire. He was reluctant to allow her to leave him for such a long period of time, but he eventually agreed. She set off on her journey, leaving him to await her return in the protection of her home. She never came back.''

I hadn't realised i was crying until i saw Emmett's pale hand appear in front of my face, holding a Kleenex. I soaked up my tears in the tissue, and gestured for him to carry on.

'' It was written that he waited 101 days before he went to search for her. He combed the world over to find her, but he never did she disappeared, and no one knows what happened to her, or what happened after that. All that the text says from that point is that the vampire cried tears of blood, and within 24 hours, his heart physically broke apart, and he was dead...again. The grief of losing her was too much for his heart to handle, beating or not, and we think that's what's happening to Edward. The first time he cried tears of blood was just before sunrise. He literally can't exist without you Bella, you're the only chance we've got of saving him, and if Carlisle's right, we've got around 11 hours until game over. Any questions?''

**What do u think? Is it a little too unrealistic, or just very imaginative? I came up with this plotline last night and thought id try it out in this story to see if it fits. I kinda think it does, but what do u think? Reviews please because u love me ;) xxx**


End file.
